So tonight i cried. I've cried alot this last year or so, but i have been holding back tears for some time now. I don't think that i ever really allowed myself to cry all the tears that have been inside of me and tonight they overflowed. I wasn't angry! I have moved on and i am happy and God is blessing my family. But there is a saddness so deep inside of me that has been building. So much loss has happened this last year in my life. Some of it could not have been helped and only God could have changed it but allowed it to be. Others i think God was sad and dissapointed because it was not his plan. But i believe that ultimate plan for my life has not changed, just the immediate path has been diverted a bit. I have continued to be strong through it all for my family, my sons and my husand. But i guess there comes a moment when even i must break. I love my family but changes have happened and what once was will never be again and i am hurt that people are so unaware of what they have broken. But i also know that God will rebuild something bigger and stronger and it is in brokeness that God becomes stronger in my life and good will come from this. I know that everything is gonna be alright. God is in control and he knows what he's doing..But sometimes it's ok to cry.
3 comments:
I just found your note on my blog so turned to your page and saw about your move. I commented on the first of these on that also. But tears are cleansing, can't remember all the details but heard a sermon once on the chemicals in tears and the healing that God intened.. Isn't just like Him!! everything has a purpose. You are in our prayers and love much! [you could move to Visalia and help us. :-)]
would love to communicate with you, give me your email if you want! mine is ljlmbo@yahoo.com
love and blessings
(((hugs))) I know what you mean about holding back tears. A good cry every now and then is OK. Some times it is just hard to find the time for it! =) Have a blessed weekend.
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