The Begining

Well everyone else is doing it huh....ok i know if everyone else jumped off a bridge would i jump too? Well no. Actually this whole blogging thing seems a little vain to me to think that someone somewhere out there would acutally care to know what is going on in my life. But on the other end i could care less and just think that the outlet might be a little relaxing late at night when the kids are asleep and i have a moment to myself.

So how about a confession. I play webkinz..Late at night when everyone else is in bed i get onto webkinz and trade stuff and earn money so that Michael can have the money to buy the stuff he wants the next day..It awful i know but it is the one huge bonding thing that we do together. It's like our mother-son speacial time together during the day without Gabriel bugging or trying to stick his nose in. Michael loves it and we play the games together and look for rare stuff and we just have a ton of fun.

On the other end of things i am somewhat peaceful amidst all of the things going on in my life. With Uncle Jon not doing so good lately it is a little tough but i know in my heart and in my mind that he is going home to be with Jesus and a little jealous that he gets to go play with Bryce before the rest of us. He doesn't have to wait as long as the rest of us to see that little angel again. This last year has gone by so fast and it hardly seems as though it has almost already been a year since we lost Bryce. I don't even think about Thanksgiving or Christmas the same now.I just remember him and how we lost him and how he is gone and how he won't be here this year again. But i know God is in control even when my world seems to be going crazy. It's funny because really no one knows what i have gone through this year. Outside of our immediate church and our family no one really knows. It's not like we're famous and it was all over the news, even though in our town it was pretty big. We won't ever be asked onto a late night show to say what this tragedy has done to us and how we trust God no matter what. But that doesn't matter because i know. And i know what God has done in our lives and i know how far we've come. We've lost some this year and we've gained some. Sure i have questions sure i ask why and i know that i'll never know, but still i trust God. God is Good.

I am Blessed.
Mandy